Investing a few minutes of reflection on the past year can draw you into the future with more honesty and awareness. We can't really know where we are going if we don't understand where we have been. Here are my reflections on these important questions:
HOW did you change? I gained clarity. (Early in 2020 I had eye surgery that included lens implants enabling me to have 20/20 vision for the first time in my life. This physical vision transformation coincides with inner clarity that is also improving.)
WHAT changed you? Courage to name my childhood trauma with vulnerable honesty. (Even though I have been working on my story for many years, seeking and finding much healing, I am now learning to describe the abuse I experienced with more bold, strong and demonstrative vocabulary, i.e. trauma, violence, assault, Complex PTSD, and deep suffering. My vision has become more clear. This clarity is changing the way I describe my past, and is enabling me to express just how extensively the harm has affected my life.)
WHO was important? My new online community. (I know that for many, Covid 19 has brought much fear, isolation and pain. For me, social distancing opened the door to a whole new community online. I have been able to meet and connect with people across the country who are each also on their own powerfully healing journey. These women have become courageous voices calling me into deeper sadness, anger and pain, as well as faith, hope and love.)
Other questions to ponder: HOW did you resist change? WHAT unhealed past trauma stopped you? WHOSE voice takes power over you?
If you like to live “off the cuff,” you appreciate spontaneity. If you enjoy trying new things that are stretching, you delight in adventure. If you take pleasure in reading every article that piques your interest, you treasure knowledge and understanding. The qualities that are most important to you in life and work are your values. Clearly seeing your unique values can help you determine your priorities. Then, when your behavior supports that which you consider important, you have a sense of satisfaction and contentment that energizes you and enables you to soar. When your actions don’t line up with what you esteem most highly, things can feel off-kilter.
What are your top 5 values? How are you living in alignment with the qualities you admire most? In what ways are you out of step with that which you regard as important, and how is that hindering you from being the best at what you do?
We have moxie! Even when we don't know it or believe that it's true, we have moxie. At our core essence as women, we are already bold, courageous, audacious, strong, gutsy and so much more. This is the message of MoxieMe.
Regardless of how the world, others or even your own personal experiences have caused you to play small, silence your voice, or feel powerless, you are still, inherently, a woman with moxie. You were created to be courageous, free and fully alive. This is the message of MoxieMe.
If you are not embracing this kind of life, don't stay stuck. Start moving, changing, getting the freedom that is meant to be yours.
Women who have experienced victimization, like me, need this message. Whether through childhood abuse, assault, domestic violence, bullying, illness, an accident or any other situation that caused you to feel helpless or powerless, victimization steers you toward a life of hiding, protecting and surviving. While surviving is important, it's not enough. You were intended to thrive. While existing gets you through the day-to-day demands, you were created to be fully alive.
This is the message of MoxieMe. The journey is ongoing, and wherever you are on the pathway, I welcome you.
The "Stay at Home" order has come for many. Feelings of fear and anxiety are louder and stronger than ever. The situation we are facing has many unknowns. How can we live well during times that cause disruptive feelings?
Fear often takes power over us and draws our eyes down and inward as we begin to think more and more about taking care of self and our loved ones. When we turn the focus inward we begin to get smaller. Our courage and strength diminish. Often, we lose our voice. We hope someone knows what to do. Maybe we blame others for not preventing this chaos. Old trauma responses of fight, flight or freeze can take control over us more than our rational and analytical thinking. We feel energy drain away.
Especially for those of us who have experienced victimization in the past, many of those old feelings of helplessness and powerlessness rise to the surface and we can find ourselves acting and reacting in strange ways that are difficult to understand.
I would like to offer 6 options available to you when you feel this kind of fear and anxiety. We do not need to be held hostage by our feelings. In truth, we have the strength to diminish uncomfortable feelings of fear. Reclaim your strength and try one or more of these suggestions to bring a shift that can help you take back your power.
1) Intentionally lift your eyes, your focus, up and out. Bring your conscious thinking back to truth and remind yourself that right now you are safe, you are not alone, you are not helpless. Look at the sun in the sky, the birds singing, people coming and going. Move your focus beyond your corner of the world.
2) Get your tools out of your toolbox and use them. These simple tools can change the chemistry in your body in minutes.
a) Find an easy breathing technique, like the 4-7-8, and use it a few times each day. You can find out more about this technique by clicking here.
b) Learn how to do EFT Tapping and do it once or twice a day. Check out my "Intro to EFT Tapping" video by clicking here.
c) Take out your journal and write down your feelings. Move the thoughts that are swirling around in your head out onto paper.
3) Talk with someone who will listen well. You may need to ask them to just listen. Let them know that you don't need them to fix anything or have answers, but that you just want to be seen, heard, known and understood. Ask them to just, simply hear you.
4) Think about what you are actually feeling and give it a name. Joan Rosenberg talks about 8 unpleasant emotions we tend to avoid, and how, if we will ride the wave of the emotions for 90 seconds we will be able to move forward. Identify your emotion and feel it deeply and fully for those 90 seconds. It's quick and effective. Check out Joan's TED Talk here: https://youtu.be/EKy19WzkPxE
5) Ground yourself. Notice what is real right now. Are you safe? Are you hungry? Do you have protection? Are you ill? Write down 10 areas where you are safe, peaceful, unchanged. Then speak gratitude over those areas.
6) Acknowledge the spiritual and turn toward spiritual truths in prayer or meditation. Remember that you have a higher power you can turn to who is able to do for you what you cannot do for yourself.
Don't stay stuck in the swirl of fear and anxiety. You have what you need to take a step forward, right now.
Are you really happy where you are financially? When you think about the amount of money you have in your savings account, the amount of money you are in debt, or how much you make monthly: are you really happy? Sometimes we keep doing the same things, in the same way, hoping for different results. A lot of people go through their whole life in a viscous cycle and I don’t want that to be you. In this video, we are going to talk about our pre-programmed beliefs when it comes to money and how that impacts where we are. We are also going to talk about money mapping and how important that can be to identifying your beliefs and emotions about money.
I Hate Money!“I don’t want to have a lot of money. Money causes problems.” Have you said these or similar words? If you grew up in a home where money was tight and you watched your parents work hard to just make ends meet, you might have hidden and unconscious beliefs about the downsides of acquiring wealth. Now, as you work to earn a great income doing what you love to do, money might seem elusive. Hidden beliefs that being wealthy has downsides can be a barrier to being able to charge what you are worth.
What words have you spoken about the negative effects of having wealth or being wealthy?
One of the techniques that I use in my coaching sessions is EFT or Emotional Freedom Techniques. Tapping enables you to quickly and easily move barriers aside that seemed impossible to overcome. Tapping is an easy-to-use technique of tapping yourself on acupressure points while we say certain words to help you get past the barrier. EFT Tapping has been widely studied and documented, and the results are amazing. Follow along as I show you a very simple Tapping session to deal with anger you can do at home. This technique can open the door to real change that lasts and brings inner peace, achievement and wealth.
The unanticipated twists and turns are what make an adventure unforgettable. Those unforeseen complications, even though difficult and frustrating, may later become the highlights you recall with appreciation. The very situations that stretch you to the limit can eventually bring priceless results.
That difficulties and frustrations do you remember when you look back at your story? Will you consider how some of the very situations you resisted actually brought some value to your life and work?
Have you been working to towards a goal, but it just seems unattainable? Have you started down a path and you just aren’t sure how to get to the finish line? When that feeling of fear rises up in front of us, it creates a barrier that isn’t always easy to get past.
Reaching our goals isn’t always easy, but if you can break it down and start with one simple task, it can be easier to manage. I like to call it, “start by doing one easy thing.
I want to encourage you to think about that your goal that you haven’t been able to accomplish and then think about one easy step you can take towards that goal. When we break things down into smaller steps, it can be much easier to break past those barriers and achieve your dreams.
Qualities that are imperative to success are discipline, confidence, creativity and charisma. If you believe you lack one of these qualities (or another trait important to you), perhaps you are trying too hard to get it. Maybe you could stop striving and approach your desire from a different angle: consider whether the key to gaining these characteristics is to discover and overcome whatever is blocking their flow. Is it possible that you actually possess them, but something else is getting in the way? Seeking clarity can lead you to the answer.
What specific quality do you want to gain? What has been blocking the flow of that trait in your life and work (i.e., fear, self-condemnation, past wounds or trauma)? How might you address the barrier(s)?
MoxieMe is a place distinctively designed to ignite your desire to invest, with abandon, in yourself and your process toward finding and celebrating your moxie.