STOP BEING NICE!

Were you taught to be nice? Niceness is modeled at home, in school and by society.  Be nice! How often did you hear these words?  Yet, can being nice sometimes actually hurt us and keep us stuck?

What does it mean to be nice, and how does being nice differ from being kind?  To be nice is to be outwardly polite, pleasant, happy and agreeable. Nice on the outside, however, allows room to be inwardly judgmental, critical, competitive, and passive.  Nice people get along with almost everyone as they function on surface levels of a smooth veneer that forbids conflict.  Nice eyes tell you to be quiet, sleepy and without passion or desire.

Kind eyes have sparks and fire that gently disrupt.  They are vibrant and draw you toward all that is alive through curiosity and genuine care. Kindness opens the heavy, room-darkening curtains with bold exhortations to arise and explore the hidden places, yet with gentleness that helps you believe you can hike the rocky terrain.  Kindness disrupts the status quo and calls you toward life, light and love, while offering a hand.

Who in your world has kind eyes?  Who sees you with a kindness that calls you toward action that can get you unstuck and move you toward healing?  We need kindness, without judgment, that arouses us deep inside, to discover that which has been hidden, lost and forgotten. 

Find Kind eyes.  They matter.  You matter. 
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Be watching for the launch of my new podcast that I will be co-hosting with my friend Kandace Rather, where we will be talking about topics like this and how they pertain to healing trauma.

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